We cannot know what life will bring. We imagine how we would respond to this challenge or that challenge but until we face it, we really never know. It is easy to be an 'arm chair' observer, quietly taking notice of a misstep or stumble, as we watch others feel their way through life. The temptation is to think to ourselves, "I wouldn't have done that, said that, thought that. Surely, I would have show strength, courage and optimism."
And then we are faced with our own unique challenge - custom made to challenge the status quo and give us opportunity to grow or grumble. Our response may not be perfect because, after all, we are not yet perfect but we will develop an empathy that is only earned by one who goes through that experience. We can learn patience as we are refined and feel strength beyond our own capacities.
Between child #3 and child #4, I experienced an eleven year lesson in infertility and miscarriages. Unfortunately, as my heart ached for another child there were people around me that assumed I had chosen to limit or delay my family in exchange for 'stuff'. A judgment was made that I had purposefully chosen the 'shoes' I was asked to wear at the time. Nothing could have been farther from the truth.
In this refining I learned that, until I know a person's heart, I cannot truly understand the shoes they wear. I really only know how I have met my own challenges. I can share what I have learned but I cannot share how I have grown. That is mine. That doesn't mean that I can't cheer others on as they wobble in their shoes and reach out in love to steady them as they walk. That in remembering my own lessons gained in my own shoes, I can show charity as others learn theirs.
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